Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Fine Lines

A few months back, a friend, who is a submissive was asking my advise about how to handle her current Dom. This man, was, in my opinion, overly controlling to the point of emotional abuse. She is known for her lovely long flowing hair, and within their short relationship, he had demanded she cut six inches off, which she did, then he demanded another six inches, which she also did. Another thing he demanded was that she keep her cam on in her house at all times. This demand particularly creeped me out because she has a young teenage daughter who uses the computer. Anyhow, my reaction was strong and knee jerk. Another aquaintance who was also asked for advise, came from a different perspective, and actually didn't see those demands as over the top. I was reminded that within the power exchange there are many different was to express/practice or celebrate power, and that it is really impossible to understand fully what is "over the fine line" for another person or people.
So now, that fine line, is something that I have been walking alongside more often. I find myself thinking back to that situation and the advise I gave when I make demand from my submissives. I go farther, and remember to look to them for the signs that point to nearing boundries, not within myself but within the sub-self.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Trust is the key to any relationship. If someone can not be trusted, then you should not be in a relationship with them of any kind that requires trust. If someone can be trusted, then the demands of a haircut and an active cam in a dom/sub relationship are not necessarily immediately cause for concern. However, if the daughter is NOT a part of the special relationship, she should not unknowingly be subjected to a possible invasion of her privacy with the cam. If she is under-age, it could actually be illegal. She should at the very least be made aware of the camera's presence - and it's status, obviously...