Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sex as Catharsis

I always hesitate to blog too much about my personal life. Part of it is my own hang ups, my own walls, etc. I worry if i put too much of the deep personal me out there someone may tap into a protected, hidden side of me that I dread exposing. The other thing about blogging about deeply personal topics is that I work in the fantasy world and I hate to ruin someones fantasy ideal of me. But the truth of me as Sex worker is, I only do it because I want to. I really don't need to work as a PSO or cam girl, I just do it because I get off on it. You might be into pantyhose, or you might be into dangling, or you might be into me being Your girl, or you might be into Female Superiority, but I am into Selling Fantasies. In case you don't understand, what I mean is, I get off on working to get you off. I ache to hear the phone ring. I get wet knowing that I am getting into your head and you enjoy my wicked mind so much you are willing to compensate me financially. I guess you might say I have a Whore "thing". And I am really really into it.
Back to my personal life. Many of you have been sending me messages asking where I have been lately. I haven't replied because I really didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to keep the fantasy alive, I want put forth the image that I am the idealize Woman you have grown to know and lust. But the truth is I am just a mere human like you, except my ass is way nicer than yours...
I have been gone three separate weeks in the last month, traveling out of state to help a very ill family member. And the traveling will probably continue for the rest of the summer. Words like cancer, life support, sepsis, ICU, ventilator, white blood cell count, central lines, paralysis are words that were not a regular part of my vocabulary before May. Now they are. This reality is a major bummer, I know. It's not sexy at all, but... I find myself even needier for sexual interaction.
This is what happened... I had spent a long sleepless night in a hospital waiting room. I had family around but also a dear old friend was close by my side. As morning rolled around we went back to the hotel to shower and clean up. The door shut behind us and this man immediately pulled me close and made demands of me. It was the absolute best thing as a friend he could offer me at that moment. Even facing grief and life & death decisions, he knew how to support me. Sex is cathartic, sex can be healing, and sex is a huge stress relief.
I wondered at one point how I would ever just turn off my mind, log on again at Niteflirt and be the Vixen Mia again. But what I realized is it was just what I needed. I needed my fantasy fulfilled as it always is when I take calls. I knew I needed the escapism of the roleplays I enjoy as I play with my callers. So here I am back at being a phone sex operator and feeling even better about life because of it.

xxoo mia

6 comments:

Pogue Mahone said...

I understand that catharsis completely... we all need it, we all do it. Some of us go home and have a nasty fuck with our significant other. Some of us call you for that release, and your humanity only makes what you do for others even more intense, more personal. It is you greatest asset... besides your ass of course.

ChrisG1965 said...

Insightfultruth to not only your own inner being, but a societal truth that is left unsaid.
Along with your unbearable sexual talents is a talent for truth. Sucks to be us......

T said...

All too often, people regard sex as a duty or an occasional diversion. In that, they often disregard their own pleasure and need for the incredible feeling that it entails. As a catharsis, it is the best one to distract, destress and otherwise relax one's mind. By the way, I do love that ass of yours. I commend you for assisting others with their needs on the phone or in cam. I have participated in that with friends, but found it lacking for myself. Nothing like skin on skin to produce endorphic euphoria ;-)

gandolph said...

let me just say it is so refreshing to have you be so honest about your naughty side so many people are still afraid of the taboo side of there life (and every one has one weather they want to admit it or not)maybe if more of the people who are comfortable like you put it out there the word freak when applied to what gets someone off would no longer apply so thank you and keep up the amazing work you do i am sure that day by day you are helping someone out there to feel more free

Sheleane said...

As someone who has struggled to get partners to understand how catharic sex can be in alot of situations, I can understand your feelings. Why people seem to connect stress with isolation, I do not know. I need some down and dirty when things have been really stress-filled.

On a side note, I am sorry that you are having to deal with illness in your family. Take care of yourself and make sure someone takes care of you as well! You deserve the best. -El

robm209 said...

Mia the more human you are the hotter you get. You make warm in all the right places, and I like it!